How Do I Stay Sober After Losing A Loved One
If there was one time I wanted to escape myself in my five years sober, it was this. But I didn’t escape. I faced it. I stayed sober. This is how.
When I was 20 years old, I developed a problem with my heart. My heart would race, even when sitting in a chair, and the beat would become uneven. It was a terrifying time for me. I had to have multiple tests done and made several visits to the hospital.
I went from an invincible 20-year-old—a weightlifter, runner and lover of anything physical—to a broken, fearful person who wasn’t sure he was going to wake up the next day.
I’d done a pretty good job of abusing substances before that time and was at risk for severe addiction. So, I stopped using all substances.
I started to read spiritual books and asked myself how I wanted to live my life. I began to appreciate the little things in life—I would stop to watch a bird, a sunset or the joy of a small child. I slowed down.
For four years, I took medication four times a day until my heart finally healed.
My heart problem was the best thing that ever happened to me.
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Through the years, I’ve counseled a lot of addiction clients. One of the greatest pleasures I get from my work is watching people in recovery achieve a life free of substances and all of the problems that go with them.
I’ve often wondered what separates those who stay sober from those who continue to relapse. What I’ve noticed is that most of the successful people have a relationship with spirituality.
Many people respond fearfully when they hear the word spirituality because they often think that religion judges them harshly. But spirituality can be much more than religion. Whenever you honestly connect with something outside of yourself, that is spirituality.
There are many ways to embrace spirituality in addiction recovery. Joining an anonymous group, like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, can be very spiritual. In these groups, you connect with a community of people who share their innermost selves to each other. Some would even call it “baring your soul.”
There is something about being totally honest in a group of people—or even to one person—that has a powerful effect on a person.
Have you ever noticed the relief you feel when you stop lying and tell the truth to someone? It’s like a weight being lifted off your shoulders. Truth is spiritual!
Some people feel spiritual in nature. They take a walk through a forest or sit by a river, watch the animals and enjoy the feeling of sunshine or the beauty of the moon at night. Others feel spiritual when they’re with their pets because pets accept us all the time, no matter what we’ve done. For some, listening to their favorite music is spiritual.
The list goes on and on. You can make almost anything spiritual if you have the right attitude towards it. To embrace spirituality, try doing the following:
Spirituality is about trying new things and doing things differently than you’ve done before. It’s not easy though, and some people resist it.
Some people say, “I hate AA, counseling and rehab. I don’t need it for recovery.” From what I’ve seen, these are the people who don’t recover or who relapse more often.
It’s humbling to admit your truth to another person, which can be embarrassing, scary, and emotional. But the prize—good health, friends, a job, and a happy life you’ve always wanted—is worth it. So get out there and try being spiritual. You just might change your life!
About the Author: Brian Carberg, LPC, NCC, BCPC
Brian Carberg is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private counseling practice in Connecticut. He is a National Certified Counselor, a Board Certified Professional Counselor in the American Psychotherapy Association, and holds a Master’s Degree in Pastoral Counseling. He has been assisting people in their healing journeys since 1990, serving as a counselor and supervisor in various Mental Health and Addiction programs. For ten years he worked as a Substance Abuse Counselor and Supervisor in an outpatient treatment program for people addicted to heroin and other opiates. In his current private counseling practice, he thoroughly enjoys assisting clients in all stages of recovery from various addictions. He believes today can be the start of the life you want, if you are willing to do the work.
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