How Do I Tell My Family That I Have An Addiction?

How Do I Tell My Family That I’m Struggling With Drug Or Alcohol Addiction?

Being open about your addiction with your family can be difficult, but doing so allows them to understand what you’re going through and gives them the opportunity to support you as you take the next step towards recovery.

Preparing For The Conversation

You can prepare for talking with your family about your substance use disorder (SUD) by organizing your thoughts and deciding on the most critical information to share. Your spouse or other family members will likely have a lot of questions, so one way to prepare for the conversation is to think about how you will answer questions like:

How did you become addicted?
When did your addiction start?
Where do you get the drugs?
Why can’t you stop?

Preparing an answer to these questions may reduce confusion, defensiveness, and tension. You can also explain to your spouse or loved ones that you have a plan for overcoming your addiction, which should involve professional help.

Finding The Right Moment

There’s never a “right” time for difficult conversations, and when you’re ready to start talking with your loved ones about addiction, they may not be ready. To help ease the discomfort, you may try:

Requesting to meet on a day and time that is best for everyone.
Choosing a time when no one has other duties to attend to.
Selecting a location where everyone can feel comfortable and relaxed.
Trying your best to avoid unnecessary interruptions.
Turning off technological devices.

Depending on the schedules and reactions of your family, you may need to schedule several meetings to discuss your plan for overcoming an addiction.

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Communicating Effectively

There are ways you can improve how you and your family communicate, especially when talking about serious topics like addiction. Here are some crucial factors for effective communication:

Clearly state your message and ensure your message is received.
Don’t assume you know what your family is thinking.
Actively listen to what they say during the conversation.
Body language should be open and welcoming to their feedback.
Make eye contact with them.
Eliminate distractions like phones and televisions.
Listen for their feelings in their words, not just the content.
Reflect on what they say so they know you heard them.
Understand that some loved ones may not feel happy or satisfied immediately.
Take time-outs if needed.
Allow loved ones to help you make decisions about entering recovery.

The more people are involved in a conversation, the more opportunity there is for conflict. You must consider that they may respond negatively initially and need extra time to process the information. Try not to react defensively and remove yourself from the conversation if need be.

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Setting Realistic Expectations

Addiction recovery is a process that may include ups and downs. Knowing this can help you set realistic expectations for recovery that benefit everyone.

Below are some realistic expectations to set with your loved ones:

You and your family can benefit from professional help in overcoming addiction together.
There will be setbacks that require using the skills you learn in treatment.
Relationships may need time to heal, but working on them during treatment will help.
Challenges exist for everyone, even those not in recovery.
Recovery and healing are ongoing processes for everyone.
You may not be able to participate in every family activity, as some could be triggers for relapse.
Changes must take place to support your recovery.

According to researchers from the Center for the Study of Addiction and Recovery at Temple University, realistic changes must occur in multiple areas for successful recovery. Areas for change are measurable using various tools focusing on physical, psychological, social, and environmental improvements that support recovery.

Seeking Professional Guidance

It is always a good idea to seek help from addiction recovery specialists, such as an interventionist, who can help you talk to your loved ones about addiction. They can offer support and guidelines for properly communicating with your family, preparing for the conversation, and processing the results. Therapists or counselors can teach you skills that will help you communicate better, maintain safety, and know when to take a break.

Working with a professional can give you confidence and the strength to follow your plan. They also teach you about healthy relationships, setting boundaries, resilience, managing stressful situations, and developing an outline that makes it easier to talk to loved ones.

Providing Resources And Information

Your spouse, family members, and close friends will most likely want to know more about addiction and how they can help. Providing them with resources and information regarding addiction, recovery, and how the family is affected will be beneficial.

You may want to share the criteria for SUDs set by the American Psychiatric Association in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders. There are 11 criteria, and how many you meet determines the severity of your addiction. Share with your family which ones apply to your situation.

It is also beneficial to give your loved ones resources where they can find more information and seek help. To do this, consider providing them with the contact information for your chosen treatment center, phone numbers to local and national resources, and information on family support groups.

How To Ask For Help And Support

Asking for help is a crucial component of addiction recovery. It shows that you recognize a problem and can’t overcome it alone. Asking for help and support from a spouse or loved one may initially feel scary. Here are some ways to make it easier:

Be honest and express your need for help.
Explain your reasons for asking for help.
Start by talking to the person you trust the most.
Express your desire for change.

Your spouse or loved ones have likely noticed changes in you. Some may even already suspect addiction. Some family members may not be receptive to helping, but most want to see you succeed. Be prepared for both responses.

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Benefits Of Acknowledging That You Have An Addiction

Acknowledging you have a problem sets the tone for the rest of your recovery. Admission is you being honest with yourself and your loved ones. It eliminates secrets and shows you are open to change.

Acknowledging you have a problem helps you develop trust and connect with others in mutually respectful ways. It means you no longer must lie to yourself or deny you have a problem. Most importantly, it leads to action. Once you disclose your problem to your spouse or loved ones, you feel more obligated and motivated to resolve the issue.

Navigating Setbacks

Navigating setbacks includes having support systems to help you before, during, and after an unexpected hindrance. You and your family can learn the phases of a relapse, including emotional, mental, and physical. When any of you recognize the signs, you can implement your plan of getting back into treatment and seeking the right kind of help.

The same is true for recognizing the stages of recovery, including abstinence, repair, and growth. At any point during recovery, you and your family can seek help to deal with setbacks.

Resources For Families To Better Understand Addiction

Families may benefit from links to professional organizations created to help them better understand all aspects of addiction, like the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), the National Institute on Drug Abuse, and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Additionally, after a person has entered treatment, many programs offer and encourage family support and connection while their loved one is in treatment. One way they do this is by providing family counseling, where the family can meet with a therapist to resolve conflict and develop effective communication techniques. This can be an integral part of recovery for both the person with an addiction and the family as a unit, as it helps create a healthier, more supportive environment for the person to return to after treatment.

Getting Help For Addiction

If you are ready to tell to your loved ones about your addiction but want more information on the options available to you first, call a treatment provider who can answer your questions and show you your rehab options today.